Dealing with people, in short, is a balancing act. All it takes to knock any relationship off kilter is to communicate contempt, sarcasm, defensiveness, or withdrawal. Avoid these reactions and treat others with respect and you’re much more likely to successfully resolve the issue at hand.

10 Rules for Effectively Dealing with People

1. Care about others – Initiate caring and people will be more inclined to respond in kind. When distressed people come forward with a complaint or demand, they’re looking for someone to hear them out, a little attention, and an immediate response. Think about how much better you react to a customer service representative that listens and acknowledges your issue and how you feel about it. It assures you that he or she will do what they can to remedy your concern. Even if you don’t like the outcome, you probably feel better about the interaction and the company.
2. Communicate positively – Make every effort to communicate one on one and face to face. Make eye contact and keep an open physical stance or posture. The idea is to put people at ease and communicate willingness to hear them out.
3. Don’t judge – It can be hard, but do your best to not give weight to preconceived notions about others. It can mean ignoring the gossip, or keeping an open mind of your own opinions or prejudices. Not being controlled by stereotypes allows the greatest opportunity for mutual understanding and cooperation.
4. Only give advice when asked – Even though you may bring wisdom and knowledge from business or experience, it is important to first ask others if they have a reasonable solution before offering your own. People want to be heard, and this approach will respectfully open the door for more creative solutions.
5. Communicate expectations and limits – Be clear about what you can and cannot do. Unclear or unreasonable expectations lead to disappointment, anger, and withdrawal. When you aren’t able to give people what they want, a lot of resistance and resentment can be avoided by being honest and open about what is and isn’t possible.
6. Don’t be afraid to admit you can’t help – Sometimes defensiveness can come across as being dismissive or uncaring. If you feel defensive because you don’t have a good answer for someone, it’s often best to just admit that you can’t help and explain why. Honesty is preferable to pretending to listen or becoming defensive, and it goes a long way in helping diffuse hostility.
7. Validate others – People need to feel valued and appreciated. Giving others their due by acknowledging their contributions leads to more cooperative relationships. Sincerely recognize others for their input or assistance, no matter the scale.
8. Respect agreements until all parties agree to a solution – Safeguard against misunderstandings by finding mutually acceptable solutions until the whole group agrees to change( or not to change), a policy or rule. You will garner more credibility and be better able to respect all points of view.
9. Request the immediate attention of the group if agreements are broken – This is a tool for dealing with power imbalances, strong personalities, and individual agendas. When you need to make an immediate decision about policy or procedures, you are better served if you ask for a discussion with all members prior to a change.
10. Respect one another – Respect homeowners and board members, even if you don’t agree with them. In fact, offer your respect even if it’s not offered to you. This will lead to positive change.

Although dealing with people is not always pleasant or simple, you can use each situation to build trust and mutual understanding. Ultimately, everyone—HOA members, board members and property managers—will be in a position to be more reasonable and objective.